Getting old(er) :)

Hello :)

Happy Birthday to me! Yay! 

As you may have guessed, it's my Birthday today, I've turned 21, which is a bit of a scary thing to write down, since I always had an image of what a 21 year-old person should be like and I don't feel like I fit under those criterias, funnily enough, it doesn't bother me as much as I would've thought that it would.

21, it's just a number, another year that I have spent on my journey, another step towards finding my path, I don't think I have to have it all figured out yet. But as I am on this journey there are a lot of moments during which I feel a little lost, I guess I'm heading in the inevitable direction of my glorious quarter-life crisis along with a slight case of exsistential crisis, in short I don't know.

I don't know where I wish to go, what I wish to do, who I even am as a person or who I wish to be. I have a lot of dreams, but which ones are worth thriving to turn into reality and which may not be worth it, I don't know.

When I was younger I thought I had so long to figure everything out, although I made my little choices, the majority of the road I had to walk on, was already set for me, I knew what I would be doing in 5 years, right now, I don't have the slightest idea. 

A part of it is scary, very scary in fact, but that's just a way of being human I guess. I do try to give myself the time to not know, because although it's scary, it's also exciting, to not know everything, to have that bit of spontaneity, which I honestly probably am lacking of, I love having everything planned ahead to the final touch.

So as I enjoy the last hours of my Birthday, lying in bed in an oversised Gremlins T-shirt, writing a blog post, like a true 21 year-old, I choose to let it be, I know I'll give my best to not build myself too narrow of a path, so that later I wouldn't have options, I wish to find that balance of freedom and grounding down, feeling the earth underneath my feet, while also experiencing the feeling of flying, that's all I really know that I want out of my life - happiness.

I know I'll most likely have a few melt downs along the way, a few days during which I feel like nothing is going right, but I want to choose to be happy, because let's face it, nobody else can do it for me.

Have a beautiful 18th of January and I have a few blog posts nearly ready, waiting for me the finish them, so there'll be a few more in the days ahead.

Kaiela :)