How to find motivation?

Hello :)

Today I spent long and hard trying to figure out what to write about and finding the time to actually get on with it, so I came to the conclusion that if motivation won't come to me, then I'll have to punish it by writing about finding motivation, as if I were a professional at it (Hint: I'm not)

Anyway what do you do, when you're looking for motivation, I've looked under the bed and behind the curtains, it's gone and not coming back or so it seems, but suddenly a little light bulb lit up above my head and it hit me, motivation is not finding me, because I have to write about it...I know it doesn't make much sense, but somehow I ended up writing this, so bare with me.

Anyway in any other situation, for example I have no motivation to study, I set myself a carrot, so to speak, not an actual carrot, although I love carrots, but more in the sense of I set a prize for myself, if I finish whatever I have to do. Today I have a nice big bowl of strawberries waiting for me on my table and I know if I want to have those strawberries I have to finish my blog post, so those strawberries are my carrots. (The whole carrot being related to hanging a carrot in front of a donkey so it would move on towards a carrot, so yes I did just compare myself to a doneky...oh well)

Anyway the Carrot method as I love to call it works, but not always, it gets the work done, but not always in the best possible way. You know you sort of do it, but you know you could'ev done it better so you end up having to do it again, because you were not satisfied and feel guilty for not doing it well enough and then mid-way you lose motivation again..or is that just me?

Did you notice I started the last three paragraphs with the word anyway...i did, was just about to do it again...anyway, I know that the best type of motivation comes from within, the drive to do something, because you love doing it and honestly there are a lot of things I like doing, I really like writing for example, it's so meditative not to mention it's so much better to gather my thoughts this way rather than speaking for example...but that's beside the point, the motivation I have from within is rather limited and it's rarely with me..so where is it?

I honestly have no idea, I envy those who always have the motivation to go out and do everything to reach the goals that they have set themselves a part of me is constantly trying to do the same, but somehow it doesn't work out. So I sit here and just say myself, that I have to do this, because I'm the only one can create a destiny for myself (slightly influenced by Once Upon A Time here)...and if that means writing a blog post that I'm not quite sure what it'll end up being, then that's what I'll do, because I have to practice keeping my motivation and inspiration closer to me.

Anyway, congrats if  you made it this far, I know it's a bit all over the place, but it's a beginning and sometimes that's all we need.

Here's a carrot for you:

Kaiela :)